Proof

Proof that Zombie Jesus loves our new shirts so much, he did not smote Cheever and leave him for worm food.

“And immediately the angel of the Lord smote him, because he gave not God the glory: and he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost.”  –  Acts 12:23

Thus making you invincible when you wear it.

Drink from his cup…we dare you

Patches? You bet your sweet ass we have patches

And now available in a more portable size to add to your jean jacket.

Proof that a solid thrust hug, an exercise bike and clown makeup will get you noticed by even the most conservative of bike brands.

Any more proof and you’d be able to fire a musket.

15 lb. bike and a 40 lb. bag

You know those days when it is cold and rainy outside, but you’ve managed to pull off exactly the right combination of layering so that you stay dry and never get too cold or warm on your ride? Those magical days when you’re not shivering, but you don’t end your ride with a back pocket full of arm warmers, extra gloves, rain jacket and a wool jersey wrapped around your waist Kurt Cobain-style? Today was like that. My trip to Bend for the USGP last weekend was, sadly, not.

It is difficult to prepare for the amount of awesomeness that was about to go down in addition to the forecast of rain and sub-freezing temperatures all weekend. Two 28 degree, 8:45 am ‘cross races in Bend in what was supposed to be pouring rain would’ve been enough, but there was also the matter of a quick pit stop in PDX for The Sword on Saturday night. So on Friday morning I threw all of my rain gear into a bag with my Sorel boots and most metal-est t-shirt and headed to work with a giant fucking bag on my carbon ‘cross bike.

We got down to Portland early enough on Friday evening to stand around in a Fred Meyer parking lot and drink a few beers with Case, Jason Britton, and some guys from PDW. Eventually a security guard came by and said “I don’t mind if you guys hang out, but keep the profanity down, okay?” No problem, officer.

Sometimes I really love Portland. Wait… I mean… FPDX!

And then we saw The motherfucking Sword!

We also ran into Cheever, but I wasn’t able to get a photo because he was too busy jumping onto people’s backs and grabbing strangers asses. He was definitely edging into Stan Beaver territory.

If you live on the West Coast and you didn’t go see The Sword last week then you’re doing it wrong.

– begin metal tangent –

Did you guys see that Metallica is now on Spotify? I mean… there are a lot of things going against Metallica and lots of people have lots of reasons for hating them now. There’s all of the Napster stuff, the fence he built on his property to keep mountain bikers out, the existence of this photo, etc. Not to mention all of the music after 1988 (or 1991, depending on how indignant you want to get). But c’mon, Metallica made some pretty fucking rad albums. Remember Garage Days? A very inebriated friend even recently tried to convince a few of us that Metallica was the best metal band of all time by saying “How many really great albums does Sabbath have? 2? Metallica’s got at least 3.5!”. (Let’s not talk about the other friend who advocated for AC/DC by going on and on about how Back in Black is by far their worst album. F you Joe.) Anyway, you can now go listen to Master of Puppets without having to directly give Metallica any money. If that’s the sort of thing that you’re into.

– end metal tangent –

Where was I? Oh! So we got out of Portland late enough that we didn’t arrive in Bend until about 4.5 hours before our race. What is the USGP thinking when the single speed race goes off at 8:45 am? Ugh. I get up early on the regular, but that doesn’t give anyone nearly enough time to recover from the previous nights drinks, have a cup of coffee, take a crap, and maybe, just maybe, get a lap in before the start of their race. I might’ve bitched about MFG having single speeds as the last race of the day, but this is not an alternative I’m okay with. I’ve got a new found respect for all of the Cat 4 and Masters racers who are out there at the crack of dawn all season. Fortunately, some of us are made of hardier stuff than I am and Greg raced to 5th place on Saturday despite the same drinks, metal, and lack of sleep that I had. Craig took second and still managed to find time to film Hot Laps With Craig.

Afterwards, Randy came through with some Apple Pie Moonshine from someone’s Mom and it made me forget about how bad at racing I am.

He’s really been strengthening his heckling muscles while recovering from shoulder surgery and I thought he was going to make some of the pros cry during their race. Its no surprise but Hodala continues to kinda be dicks to Chris Jones. Ah well. It’s just jokes. It might be the apple pie, but for some reason I can’t remember the best heckles. Maybe DR will put ’em in the comments.

Sally had to “work” that night so a few of us went to a few bars for a few drinks and few games of pool and one girl with rad chest tattoos.

Sunday morning brought more of the same. No rain, but a frozen course and at least one Hodala rider who was too hungover/not awake enough to complete more than a few laps. Craig again brought home a 2nd place finish that secured him as the overall single speed winner for the USGP series. I mostly just hope this doesn’t mean an end to the Hot Laps season. Maybe he’ll make one in Louisville.

We all got our heckle on during the pro races, but we’re not complete pricks – Joey bought Katerina Nash a cake and we all sang her happy birthday on the finish line.

Also, Ben Berdon was rocking the World Famous Wizarm Warmers during his races this weekend.

And that’s all that I’ve got for you this week. Special thanks to .ca for being our Canadian Sherpa this weekend. It was also great to see all of the kittens down in Bend. Though we’ll be seeing a lot more of them at the SS Cup party when they don bikinis to wash bikes. It should be a fun party that promises to look something like this:

One last thing: I sent out the second round of Hodala/Philly shirts a couple of days ago, but am still waiting on more XLs. If you’ve ordered a shirt but haven’t received it, I promise it’ll be there soon.

What. The. Fuck. #SSCXWC

The SingleSpeed CycloCross World California Championship is going to be in Los Angeles, NOT Santa Cruz.

I think I’ll skip this one.

See you in Philly.

Actually, if you’re with the Philly ’13 crew, hit me up at hodalacx [at] gmail [dot] com . I’ve got an idea for you.

SSCXWC 2012

Update: Race info coming soon.

 

It seems that we’ve got an increasing number of folks showing up to this site on a daily basis via google searches for SSCXWC 2012 or Single Speed Cyclocross World Championship because of a post I wrote last fall after the Hodala crew had just returned from San Francisco.

Well, as all of you have probably noticed, there’s no new content which isn’t all that strange because no one has any info on SSCXWC 2012. At all. At this point we’re all just assuming that it’ll happen sometime before January 1st in the vicinity of Santa Cruz, CA.

There’s a blog that hasn’t been updated since early April. (Weirdly enough they never approve any comments to the one post that is up.)

There’s a slightly cryptic listing on the Northern California Nevada Cycling Association calendar for December 1 and December 2 with Murphy Mack listed as the promoter and no other information.

And that’s it.

So what are we to do? Here in the NW, ‘cross season starts this upcoming weekend and every promoter has had their calendar online since June. If we’re going to keep SSCXWC going long enough to take it to the east coast – not to mention give the promoters in CA an incredible amount of money – we’ve gotta book flights and hotels/houses, make plans, disappoint family members that we’ll (once again) be going to race and get drunk with our friends instead of making the trek home for the holidays. I mean, what the fuck? This race is a national event that traditionally takes place between the beginning of October and the end of November, right? Aren’t we kind of cutting it close here? Am I being impatient? Seattle announced the date for SSCXWC 2010 in fucking April.

So what do we do? I guess nothing. They’ll announce the date super fucking late and we’ll all spend much more money on flights and hotels that we would’ve if Santa Cruz had their shit together and we’ll go and have a good time and drink beers and celebrate our weird little corner of the cycling world in spite of the fact that the promoters maybe sorta kinda selfishly kept the event for themselves instead of letting Philly take it at the SSCXWC 2011 afterparty when no one from Santa Cruz even showed up to claim the event. But I’m not bitter about it.

Fuck it. We’ll probably see you all at some as yet to be determined date in California. If not… Philly 2013.

 

Ketchup

Things have been all over the place since you last saw content on this here blog, but ‘cross season (or at least ‘cross club season) is almost here and the Hodala crew will start ramping up the shenanigans for what will surely be another successful season of drinking and racing. In the meantime I’ll catch you up on what we’ve been doing this “spring.” There have been a couple of birthday rides that I would’ve written about but they were so epic I would’ve had to change the color scheme of this site to pink and black and convert all of the photos to greyscale, one of the Hodala ladies completed a half ironman and we’ve had to provisionally revoke her membership until her bike handling skills return, Craig and Joe crashed out of the 24 hours of Spokane after 11 hours of being in 1st place, Greg found out the hard way that road racing blows, and we even managed to pick up a new team member if we can find a kit that’ll fit over his beard when he gets back from Alaska later this summer.

Hey, did anyone else see that Santa Cruz quietly put up a website and then did absolutely nothing? It seems like it is the same folks behind SSCXWC SF (sorta fishy huh?) so I’m not expecting a whole lot in the way of advanced notice for this thing. Fuck it, we’ll still go down there to ruin the race for everyone and make sure that Philly takes this thing to the East Coast for 2013.

Speaking of people who are really good at throwing races (which is sorta the opposite of what I was doing just a second ago) MFG has announced that Starcrossed is being moved to Oct. 6th and will not be an Enduro event. So that’s relatively exciting.

Enough of this catsup-ing. This coming weekend is GoMeansGo’s 9 to 5 – where we’ll be drinking beer and riding bikes very late at night –

followed by next weekend’s International Wizard Staff Day – where we’ll start getting drunk very early in the morning with pretty much no bike riding at all.

We’ll try to document these as much as we’re able but I’m not sure that either riding bikes in the dark or sitting in a backyard taping beer cans together are conducive to it. Stay tuned!

 

 

And proud we are of all of them…

Thanks to everyone who came out to the Ides of March this weekend. I can honestly say that all of you who stayed home because of the snow missed out. As I was cursing to myself and praying to… i guess myself… while I was finalizing the course that morning I thought that none of you fools would ever leave your house to race 25 miles around town and climb what easily ended up bring 300+ stairs.

I've never wanted to murder someone at 10 am as much as when I took this photo. But whom?

You’re all winners. Doubly so considering that 70% of the field cut the course and the actual “winner” is still sorta up for debate. Bart came into the finish first, but skipped the most fun part of the course coming down Cheasty after taking some bad routing advice from Dirty Randy. Joe was the first in to have ridden all – or most of – the course, but he’s pretty shifty and there’s just no way we could let him win. All he got was some public shaming and a t-shirt with his face on it.

The text reads "I got fucked by Joe Hamilton and all I got was this t-shirt." Ladies - we printed a few extra that'll be sitting by F-Joe's bed. Available while supplies last so you'd better hurry

Then came along our perpetual winners – Brian and Craig. Congrats to them.

Afterwards some of us went out to a teammate’s irish-y, punk(?), sea shanty, whatever show (They sound like the Pogues with a fiddle and banjo). A few drinks and shots later and I’ve got this at 2am.

Thanks Nate.

FML.

For the suckers who missed out this weekend, the green arrows and shamrocks will most likely still be around for a few weeks. Start at the stairs at the bottom of Holgate and follow them from there. Here’s a map. The only instructions you’ll really need are:

1. If you can see a trail beside the road, you’re probably supposed to be on it.

2. When you get to the outdoor fireplace/chimney, go back down the stairs.

3. When in doubt, climb up the road instead of coasting down it

4. The course ends at the top of the Collonade.

Have fun.

Breakin’ Hearts and looking in the mirror

This weekend had a very Narcissus and Echo feel to it. Step into the Wayback Machine with me and let’s take a trip back to Sunday.

While USA Cyling may not condone it…

USA Cycling Rule 1A33 – The cyclo-cross season begins September 1st of one year and ends on the last day of February of the following year.

…we tend to enjoy getting rad all year round. This past weekend was the second race in the Frost Club series – a special couples-themed Valentine’s relay/madison-style cross race for all of you lovers out there.

The HeartBraker began with a 3-legged Le Mans start…

Sally and I are embarrassingly good at the 3-legged race.

Now that I look at the photo, does anyone else see that Myers and F-Joe aren’t connected while they’re stepping over that barrier? I feel like this should be added to CXMagazine’s Readers Choice awards for “biggest controversy” after Rapha not getting tattoos at SSCXWC and SF basically keeping the race instead of sending it to Philly (No, we’re not over either of those things.)

…  Where were we? … Oh, 3-legged Le Mans. Partners grabbed their bike and had to trade off 3 minute-ish hot laps around a surprisingly hard course and pass off the bike that they were sharing.

Brett and Jamie

Half of the reason we decided on this format was to see whose bike Tyler and Trista would ride. They chose hers:

All of you need to buy some more Nuun so that they can replace that Kona with a shiny new Raleigh.

After 12 laps, each rider on the top 3 teams had to slam a beer before their final laps.

Nat doing what he does best.

Myers and F-Joe ended up running away with the race, which is a little less surprising now that there’s evidence that they were cheating from the start line.

That flower is like the scarlet letter of cheating at fake cyclocross races.

Fortunately, there’s another race coming up for the rest of us to try and steal their glory. The Ides of March will be a ‘cross alleycat on March 17th. Show up to Schooner Exact around noon. There’ll be more info coming soon so keep an eye out here or over at Red Lantern Races.

Bring some money with you as well because you’re going to want one of the new Frost Club shirts.

I promise that you'll look this good wearing it.

All of the proceeds from these races and the t-shirts goes to the Leukemia Lymphoma Society so just buy one already. If you want one and can’t make it out to the race just email me and we’ll figure it out – hodalacx [at] gmail [dot] com .

After drinking beer and riding bikes, it certainly seems like our favorite thing to do is make videos of ourselves drinking beer and riding bikes. Fortunately, it seems like Cleveland has had some extra time on his hands recently and made these for your enjoyment.

Here’s a little ditty about Dirty Randy.

Hodala One Point One: Dirty Randy from Ryan Richardson on Vimeo.

And a video about our scantily clad time in SF for SSCXWC.

SSCXWC: Hodala Sparkle Party from Ryan Richardson on Vimeo.

Just in case you aren’t quite tired of all of this navel gazing, Pat Kehoe produced a rad little video portrait of our own Craig Etheridge.

Craig Etheridge from Circadian Pictures on Vimeo.

That kid is going to take over the world some day.

Alright, folks. That’s all that I’ve got in me today. Put your ‘cross bikes back together and come get rad with us in March. Hope to see you then.

These are the jokes, folks

Well, fuck it. Let’s keep this going for a few more days.

Sorry for the crappy photo.

 

Update! – Ryan from GoMeansGo is now peddling the Relegate shirts over on his website so that you don’t have to deal with emailing me anymore. Head over to his site and get your order on. Cheers.

$20 gets you an American Apparel shirt and a couple of vinyl stickers. Show all of your friends that you can’t let go of even the smallest of perceived slights. These’ll ship out in a week. Email me at hodalacx (at) gmail (dot) com with your size and I’ll send you the paypal information. If you want any more stickers they’ll be a buck a piece (stickers are weirdly expensive to print, huh?). We’ve got a very limited amount of these.

If you just want stickers, email me. They’re $2 for 2 of ’em.

I can almost promise that this’ll be the last post about this, but it has been great making fun of all of the cool kids over at Rapha. Love you guys.

 

 

Pot Stirring

 

So there’s this:

‘Cross season is winding down in the NW, but we’ve still got a few weeks to spread this sparkling new logo around. We’re hoping to print up some t-shirts before the Bend GP – post a comment if you’d buy one.

Has SF formally relegated the Rapha winners from their 1st place spots at SSCXWC? Does that mean that Brian Myers has stepped up onto the “podium?” Hopefully this Relegate logo will get some attention and make it happen.

Ryan from Go Means Go proposed that a new rule be added to the race for future years: “No pros.  This isn’t a USA Cycling event-  from my understanding they aren’t allowed to race unsanctioned events- but it happened.  I like that there are pros bringing attention to SSCXWC, but at the very least they should be in a different category.” I appreciate that the pros who’ve shown up to this event have, for the most part, had fun with the spirit of the race. A few years ago Ryan Trebon wasn’t able to be at the Saturday qualifier so he won both the A’s and SS races earlier in the day so that he could participate in the ’08 SSCXWC. I don’t have any idea if he would’ve gotten the tattoo, but he didn’t win so it isn’t relevant. I’ve got no problem with pros showing up. I only take issue with the race becoming a marketing endeavor and I don’t care if it is pro teams showing up or the race promoters themselves.

SS ‘cross is going to continue to gain legitimacy in the cycling world. Hopefully folks like our own Craig Etheridge will be traveling next year, competing in (and winning) 1-2 races on a single speed. Others will learn that SS riders have (and always have had) a place on the start line with geared riders, and more and more companies will try to sell us SS specific crap. And some of us will continue to race SS because 2pm start times give us ample opportunity to recover from a hangover. We’ll warm up wearing coveralls to cover the fact that we’re only planning on racing in tighty whiteys. We’ll write race numbers onto bare skin with sharpie markers. Some of us will be in the front of the pack and some of us will be in the back but we’ll all win (Except in the strictest of terms of course – Craig, Brian, and Aaron will mostly do the winning while the rest of us lose horribly.) We’ll keep SS fun and accessible and less-than-serious. In leiu of “Keep SSCXWC Weird” bumper stickers, we’ve got this: Relegate.

Hodala!