All the news that ‘s fit for print I can think of.

I’d like to apologize right here up front to the three of you still reading this shoddily “curated” blog for the recent lack of content. I’ve obviously been negligent and this site is very nearly ready to move on to a younger, skinnier, “blogger” with bigger boobs. Let’s see what I can put together for you.

The ‘cross season is rapidly passing us by in the NW, and there are only 2 MFG races left on the calendar. These last two months feel like a blur of dusty, bumpy races punctuated by the occasional beer hand up. I’m admittedly terrible at this but sucking in dust every two weeks has left me feeling like a 2 pack-a-day smoker. Some of us are faring better and it looks like the men are generally putting 3 in the top 10 and 6 in the top 20 every week while the ladies have have 2 in the top 10 of the overall series despite missing a significant amount of races. Unfortunately, the revised SS Cup rules seem to be working against us at this point and in all likelihood we’ll be donning bikinis in December to wash either Stanley’s or Alki-Rubicon’s bikes. Not that we’ll mind all that much.

Here’s a little preview for you of Nat without any pants on (again).

Hot, right?

Ugh.

Craig’s angry about it.

Speaking of Craig – the USGP recently announced that they’re including an official SS competition to the national title. We crowned Craig at the SS Cup party last year, and hopefully he’ll be able to defend that title for real with more pro racers coming into the field now that there’s something on the line.

Do you remember that Rapha Gentlemen’s race that some Hodala folks raced in for Greg’s Donkelope Bicycles team? Rapha recently released the video of the ride.

You can catch them descending for about a second at the 4:10 mark and then listed in 5th place overall at the end. So there’s that.

Have you heard of the Altius cycling team out of Richmond, VA? Yeah, me neither, but there’s something eerily familiar about their new kits.

They’re obviously doing something right.

If you’re in the market for some things that we’ve made with our logo on it, keep checking back into our site. I’ve mentioned this before but we really do have some fun stuff coming up. There’s a “collabo” project with All Hail The Black Market that should “drop” in the next week or so along with some new t-shirts and possibly some of our super fly new socks.

I promise that the image of the socks that’ll be in the store won’t have my hairy legs in it. I’ll apply some digital electrolysis or something. So when the time comes just click on that fancy new STORE button at the top of the page and all of your dreams will come true (providing that you dream of things that say Hodala on them).

Whew, 500+ words – that’s all that I’ve got in me for today. We’ll most likely have some shenanigans in store for Marymoor tomorrow so swing by the trailer.

Hodala!

 

Killing it (and ourselves, apparently)

You guys want to talk about races that we’re actually attending? Me to. Let’s move on.

We’re two races into the MFG series and Hodala has taken 3 of the top 10 in both races so far. Myers has 3rd and 2nd place finishes under his belt and looks like he’ll be able to hold it down for us while Craig is away doing important things like winning the Wheelers and Dealers race at ‘Cross Vegas and then taking both days of the USGP in Sun Prarie, WI by an average of 2 minutes in the SSers.

photo from Velonews

Speaking of winners – after her stint with the Raleigh Clement squad was up this year, Jenni Gaertner opted to stick around and race with Hodala for awhile. She won the ladies SS at Kick-Off cross two weeks ago. We’re excited to have her aboard as our ladies team continues to grow.

It hasn’t quite been coming up roses for everyone over here at Hodala HQ. Saturday managed to produce upwards of 40 stitches in two of our riders and a broken/dislocated finger.

Randy was whistling through this thing after crashing on Saturday.

In addition to that a few of us were subjected to this photo after Big Finn Hill.

And this one when I asked why the hell I was receiving nudes at nearly midnight.

Our beloved Ham has also finally shat the bed. Its many issues are apparently unrepairable, but we’ll continue to drag its corpse around Weekend-at-Bernie’s-style for the rest of the season. Maybe we’ll set it on fire at Woodland Park? Dig an enormous hole and bury it? We’re open to suggestions – leave ’em in the comments. I’ll start preparing a Ken Burns-ian photo montage with “The Way They Were” playing in the background. So get ready for that.

Also get ready for some fun stuff that we’ve got coming up. We’ll have a store in the very near future with some never-before-seen items for sale.

In spite of all of this misfortune, Joe was able to pull off the rare Dirty Randy after Lake Sammamish on Sunday. Congratulations, F Joe.

Oh, our juniors squad also took its first win a couple of weeks ago when Truman “won” the competitive push bike division.

That’s all I’ve got for today. While MFG takes a week off some of us will be heading north to either Killer Cross in Bellingham or the Vancouver double header that is being put on by our buddy Matt from Mighty Cycling. See you there.

 

 

What. The. Fuck. #SSCXWC

The SingleSpeed CycloCross World California Championship is going to be in Los Angeles, NOT Santa Cruz.

I think I’ll skip this one.

See you in Philly.

Actually, if you’re with the Philly ’13 crew, hit me up at hodalacx [at] gmail [dot] com . I’ve got an idea for you.

SSCXWC 2012

Update: Race info coming soon.

 

It seems that we’ve got an increasing number of folks showing up to this site on a daily basis via google searches for SSCXWC 2012 or Single Speed Cyclocross World Championship because of a post I wrote last fall after the Hodala crew had just returned from San Francisco.

Well, as all of you have probably noticed, there’s no new content which isn’t all that strange because no one has any info on SSCXWC 2012. At all. At this point we’re all just assuming that it’ll happen sometime before January 1st in the vicinity of Santa Cruz, CA.

There’s a blog that hasn’t been updated since early April. (Weirdly enough they never approve any comments to the one post that is up.)

There’s a slightly cryptic listing on the Northern California Nevada Cycling Association calendar for December 1 and December 2 with Murphy Mack listed as the promoter and no other information.

And that’s it.

So what are we to do? Here in the NW, ‘cross season starts this upcoming weekend and every promoter has had their calendar online since June. If we’re going to keep SSCXWC going long enough to take it to the east coast – not to mention give the promoters in CA an incredible amount of money – we’ve gotta book flights and hotels/houses, make plans, disappoint family members that we’ll (once again) be going to race and get drunk with our friends instead of making the trek home for the holidays. I mean, what the fuck? This race is a national event that traditionally takes place between the beginning of October and the end of November, right? Aren’t we kind of cutting it close here? Am I being impatient? Seattle announced the date for SSCXWC 2010 in fucking April.

So what do we do? I guess nothing. They’ll announce the date super fucking late and we’ll all spend much more money on flights and hotels that we would’ve if Santa Cruz had their shit together and we’ll go and have a good time and drink beers and celebrate our weird little corner of the cycling world in spite of the fact that the promoters maybe sorta kinda selfishly kept the event for themselves instead of letting Philly take it at the SSCXWC 2011 afterparty when no one from Santa Cruz even showed up to claim the event. But I’m not bitter about it.

Fuck it. We’ll probably see you all at some as yet to be determined date in California. If not… Philly 2013.

 

‘Cross Club – Genessee Park #2

 

Like the scoring sheet up above, last night’s ‘cross club was a fucking mess. 34 of you wonderful people ended up showing up for probably one of the longest races we’ve ever done. I believe the the final 3 ended up racing for close to 40 minutes.

Because there were so many of you and we didn’t really have time to run an A and B group, we temporarily suspended Miss ‘N Out ‘cross conditions in favor of the pull-out method, which, I’m told, works every time. I mean, ‘cross season starts in 2 weeks, you should all be able to ride your bikes for over a half hour by now. So everyone raced for as long as they felt like up until 5 laps, when we pulled the field down to our top 4 for the beer lap. Before that not a whole lot happened – some dude in a Rabobank skinsuit crashed out, Evil Jim’s shoulder is still busted as fuck and it is hard to watch him try to race one handed while holding it, Max from 333fab showed up just in time to start the first lap, and a few people had flats before the race even started. Onto the beer lap!

Craig came into the line first wielding a church key and insisted that he be allowed to start his beer before everyone else showed up, then sprayed his Rainier over everyone within 2 meters of him when trying to open it. Brian and Josh came in next and were forced to drink tall boys, but after finishing his Myers left the line with no hands on the bars and “sorrysorrysorried” his way across the field, skipping 1/4 of the course and riding up onto Craig’s wheel. Josh, seemingly took the more honest route, but an hour later it was revealed that he unabashedly cut the course on nearly every lap and didn’t even “sorrysorrysorry” to try and make up for it. In light of all of this reckless trickery, John really should have won it but instead rode his bike for about 50 meters, grabbed an armful of stakes and returned back to the finish line to drink his beer in peace. I mean… Andy even fulfilled his duties as “surrogate Kitten” and drank half of his beer lap beer for him. For shame, John. For shame.

Afterwards, Myers decrees a 4 way tie for first this week for Craig, John, Josh, and himself.

Fin.

Next week is our final race of the ‘cross club season followed by the traditional after party. As usual, there will be drinks and a few prizes. Also per usual, we’ve gotten our shit together on the last possible day and made up some ‘cross club shirts. We’ll have ’em at the race and party and they’ll be either $15 or $20 bucks. I’ve also got some of the patches left if you’ve got a denim vest that is dying for some fresh embroidery.

See you next week. You won’t want to miss out on this course.

Buy me.

#RGR #Donkelope

While re-colorizing this photo the background turned all pink. Not sure what happened here – must be some Rapha setting that I couldn’t work around.

 

Did you guys hear that the Donkelope team went down to the Rapha Gentlemen’s Race this past weekend and crushed it? They did! It sounds like the River City Cycles team finished with the best time (slow clap for them), but Donkelope finished first and won a mountain of beer. I’m assuming that Rapha will have a video and post up in a few days, but I’ve attached some of Jose’s photos to whet your whistle. Congratulations, guys. Are you bringing all of that beer to ‘cross club tonight?

Sally taking a handup like a Gentleman.

Craig kissing hands and shaking babies on his way up a climb.

I hope to see you all at the penultimate ‘cross club of the season tonight. I’ve still got a few patches and coozies if anyone missed out.

 

Shameless pandering (more ‘cross club bullshit)

Right here at the top of the post I’d like to give a “shout out” to the only company that wants anything to do with us – Rainier Beer. We’d all be thirsty except for the cases and cases of beer they kick down to us for ‘Cross Club every year, so let’s take a quick moment to enjoy some of my personal favorite Rainier beer ads.

You can’t go wrong with Our Lady Rainier.

 

Zesty!

 

The late ’80s were a pretty wacky time, amiright?

I can very nearly guarantee that no one has ever like Rainier ale. Sorry, guys.

Flash -fucking- Gordon!

 

Honorable mention goes to Barzan, which I would’ve included in this post but an extensive search (3 minutes on google) didn’t produce a decent image of it. Ah, well.

Everybody’s thirsty now? Go out and buy a 6-pack of tall boys to get you through the rest of this post. I’ll wait.

 

Alrighty then. Did you hear that Craig is officially King of the fucking World (Two time Cycle Messenger World Champion)?

Is it too late to get him a Hodala kit with World Champion stripes? Can we all be world champions by proxy a la The World Champion Hodala Bicycle Racing Team? I kinda like the sound of that. Anyway, congratulations to Craig for being fast as shit and the nicest dude that any of you have ever met. I’ll try to get him to write up a little something about the race, but we’ll see how that goes.

Enough of that. Back to ‘Cross Club nonsense.

Here are the results from the past few weeks:

Aaron punctured his beer on his canti brake in order to shotgun it. It was seriously magnificent. We’re all about innovation at ‘Cross Club. I honestly don’t even remember what the “nudity points” were all about. Maybe it had something to do with Myers taking his jersey off to reveal the sweater underneath?

 

Off leash dogs are assholes. Real talk. Maybe folks should check out the park and make sure that no one is having an illicit bike “race” before they let their fucking dog roam around off the leash and very nearly get hit by a bike. Just maybe. Still, the folks at Leschi were pretty chill and no one threatened to call the cops on us, even the owners of the Golden Retriever who almost got run the fuck over.

 

Another sufferfest at Jefferson Park. Randy’s course this week was long and bumpy with a good bit of climbing and lots of off camber. We’re starting to get into some longer races approaching 35 minutes for the winners. Myers and Joe ran away with this one. They might get tall boys of R-Ale for their beer lap next week to even the playing field. “You’re gonna like it… maybe”

 

 

The TdF as covered by Grantland

Incredibly, a mainstream sports blog (owned by ESPN, no less) has written a favorable article about the Tour de France and they only mention doping once.

Breaking News: The Tour de France is Awesome by Shane Ryan

There’s nothing groundbreaking in there but the article is worth your time if for nothing else than that it is the opposite of the guffawing from ESPN when Hoogerland was hit by a car and run into a barbed wire fence last year. Shane Ryan honestly breaks down the action from today’s stage (there are spoilers in there, btw) from the perspective of someone who can barely ride a bike and has been watching bike racing for 3 days. The added bonus is that the author isn’t trying to sell you a Pinarello or custom Parlee. I’ll take it.

 

Cross Club – Genessee and Jefferson Parks

Cross Club is in full swing and we’ve all got a couple of races under our proverbial belts. Brian Myers is dominating with two wins so far. His Dirtbag Biathlon skills of drinking beer and ‘cross riding have been on display as he was able to beat Craig off the line during the beer lap at Genessee Park and made up a nearly 1 minute disadvantage at Jefferson Park after John used the little known pour-the-beer-all-over-your-fucking-head method of getting to the bottom of his can and off to a head start last night.

Start saving your pennies because we’ll have some stuff to sell you in the coming weeks as we’ve got shirts, patches, and coozies all in the works. More info to come soon, but you’ll have to show up to race if you wanna buy any of it. In the meantime here are some photos of our friends standing around drinking beers in public parks.

Craig’s going to have to learn to chug a beer if he wants to regain his Cross Club crown. Andrew and John W. were in a tight battle for 3rd until John puked up his beer on this final corner of the course at Genessee.

Not pictured: Andy’s transparent white bibs. They’ve officially been banned from all future Cross Club “competition.” We’re the UCI of not seeing our friends’ gentalia.

1st – Myers, 2nd – John, 3rd – Nat. Tyler would’ve raced for fourth but was so devastated by Nat’s drinking abilities that he couldn’t even start the final lap.

15 feet away from this group of dirtbags was some sort of Urban Planning Committee. I’m fairly sure that they were discussing ways of barring people like us from public parks.

 

9 to 5 and Wizard Staffs Across the Universe

The last couple of weekends have been a whirlwind of activity for the Hodala crew. A couple of weekends ago, a bunch of us split up into three teams for GoMeansGo’s Nine to Five scavenger hunt.

It all started out with a double rainbow

Seriously. Double fucking rainbow.

and then there was a bunch of scavenger hunting before this happened:

and then there were some bars and more scavengering and then 6 am breakfast greyhounds at the 5 Point.

Everything else is sort of a blur of frantically collecting a ton of random objects that I still need to clean out of my messenger bag. Greg has a nice wrap-up of the event over at GoMeansGo. It looks like Randy & Joe took 5th, Marcy’s team was maybe 10th 4th, and Nate and I ended up something like 18th. I’m assuming that Joe got 100 extra points or so for that photo above.

For people who are awake around 5 am everyday it was surprisingly easy to stay up all night as long as we kept moving and we only really ran out of steam when we sat down in bars for awhile. The vintage 4Loko that we drank around 2:30am probably helped a bit. I’m hoping that we’ll get more of the team out for this event next year. Ryan and Greg at GoMeansGo put on a really great race.

This past weekend was, of course, Wizard Staffs Across the Universe.

The day started out being shitty and rainy, but if we let the weather stop us from getting drunk then the terrorists have truly won. Fortunately, RaleighUSA fully supports all of Hodala’s activities and we had some tents to keep us dry.

Meanwhile in the Dirty South (Tacoma), Myers apparently thought it was a good idea to add an element of danger into Wizard Staffing – welding.


Those Churchkey’s might kinda taste like crap, but you can’t argue with a steel can.

Up in Seattle we kept drinking

and drinking

until we all decided to take our hard-earned wizard status on a walkabout to the nearby PRIDE celebration where some Canadians in tutus did body shots off of F-Joe

and DR managed to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar for them without getting 86’ed. It was truly a miracle of drunken assholery.

There’ll be a video and more photos up as soon as Sally can get though the nearly 10 hours of video that we shot on Saturday.

We did manage to add a new wrinkle to the fine art of Wizard Staffing – the “lips on staff tip.” Basically, you can tip another drinkers staff up with your own wizard staff and they’ve gotta keep drinking for as long as you do, but you must have your lips on your staff in order to force someone else to keep drinking. So here are the current Hodala rules for Wizard Staff day:

1. You aren’t a wizard until your staff is as tall as you are (I’m 15 beers tall).

2. You must have your lips on your wizard staff in order to force a person to keep drinking when tipping their staff.

3. You need a lot more duct tape than you think you do. Go buy some more.

 

After a day of letting our livers rest a few of us went to scout a new ‘cross club course and alter a few of the ones from last year. We’ve got the courses mostly set and the beer sponsorships nailed down, so dust off your ‘cross bikes; the 2012 Cross Club season kicks off a week from today. If you aren’t currently on the list and want to do some less-than-legal ‘cross racing in public parks every Tuesday night, sign up for the email updates.

That’s all for now. Keep an eye out for the WSAtU video and we’ll see you next Tuesday.

Cheers,

 

 

Ketchup

Things have been all over the place since you last saw content on this here blog, but ‘cross season (or at least ‘cross club season) is almost here and the Hodala crew will start ramping up the shenanigans for what will surely be another successful season of drinking and racing. In the meantime I’ll catch you up on what we’ve been doing this “spring.” There have been a couple of birthday rides that I would’ve written about but they were so epic I would’ve had to change the color scheme of this site to pink and black and convert all of the photos to greyscale, one of the Hodala ladies completed a half ironman and we’ve had to provisionally revoke her membership until her bike handling skills return, Craig and Joe crashed out of the 24 hours of Spokane after 11 hours of being in 1st place, Greg found out the hard way that road racing blows, and we even managed to pick up a new team member if we can find a kit that’ll fit over his beard when he gets back from Alaska later this summer.

Hey, did anyone else see that Santa Cruz quietly put up a website and then did absolutely nothing? It seems like it is the same folks behind SSCXWC SF (sorta fishy huh?) so I’m not expecting a whole lot in the way of advanced notice for this thing. Fuck it, we’ll still go down there to ruin the race for everyone and make sure that Philly takes this thing to the East Coast for 2013.

Speaking of people who are really good at throwing races (which is sorta the opposite of what I was doing just a second ago) MFG has announced that Starcrossed is being moved to Oct. 6th and will not be an Enduro event. So that’s relatively exciting.

Enough of this catsup-ing. This coming weekend is GoMeansGo’s 9 to 5 – where we’ll be drinking beer and riding bikes very late at night –

followed by next weekend’s International Wizard Staff Day – where we’ll start getting drunk very early in the morning with pretty much no bike riding at all.

We’ll try to document these as much as we’re able but I’m not sure that either riding bikes in the dark or sitting in a backyard taping beer cans together are conducive to it. Stay tuned!

 

 

And proud we are of all of them…

Thanks to everyone who came out to the Ides of March this weekend. I can honestly say that all of you who stayed home because of the snow missed out. As I was cursing to myself and praying to… i guess myself… while I was finalizing the course that morning I thought that none of you fools would ever leave your house to race 25 miles around town and climb what easily ended up bring 300+ stairs.

I've never wanted to murder someone at 10 am as much as when I took this photo. But whom?

You’re all winners. Doubly so considering that 70% of the field cut the course and the actual “winner” is still sorta up for debate. Bart came into the finish first, but skipped the most fun part of the course coming down Cheasty after taking some bad routing advice from Dirty Randy. Joe was the first in to have ridden all – or most of – the course, but he’s pretty shifty and there’s just no way we could let him win. All he got was some public shaming and a t-shirt with his face on it.

The text reads "I got fucked by Joe Hamilton and all I got was this t-shirt." Ladies - we printed a few extra that'll be sitting by F-Joe's bed. Available while supplies last so you'd better hurry

Then came along our perpetual winners – Brian and Craig. Congrats to them.

Afterwards some of us went out to a teammate’s irish-y, punk(?), sea shanty, whatever show (They sound like the Pogues with a fiddle and banjo). A few drinks and shots later and I’ve got this at 2am.

Thanks Nate.

FML.

For the suckers who missed out this weekend, the green arrows and shamrocks will most likely still be around for a few weeks. Start at the stairs at the bottom of Holgate and follow them from there. Here’s a map. The only instructions you’ll really need are:

1. If you can see a trail beside the road, you’re probably supposed to be on it.

2. When you get to the outdoor fireplace/chimney, go back down the stairs.

3. When in doubt, climb up the road instead of coasting down it

4. The course ends at the top of the Collonade.

Have fun.

Almost…

It is not without a healthy amount of shame that I admit for literally the first time that this rain is starting to wear me down. Every pair of shoes I own have been wet for what feels like weeks, I’ve resorted to wearing snowshoeing pants on my commute and, worst of all, how the fuck am I supposed to mark the course for our upcoming super rad urban ‘cross race if it won’t stop raining for a half hour at a time?

I mean, what the hell is wrong with the world when a man can’t ride his bike around painting bright green shamrocks all over the city?

This probably washed away an hour after I painted it.

 

I just want to help my friends get rad. Is that too much to ask?

You might all be roaming the city following vaguely arrow-shaped green puddles tomorrow, but we’ll have a good time no matter what. March can eat a dick. Let’s ride bikes and get drunk. Won’t you join me?

The Ides of March

2 hour-ish urban ‘cross race.

Saturday, March 17th

Schooner Exact Brewing

Meet at noon, race at 1

$5

 

 

Ides of March – This Saturday

This ain’t no Ryan Gosling movie – the final Frost Club is nigh!

We spent the last 6 weeks putting together a course that we believe combines more trail than any other urban ride/race in Seattle. There’s some fast swoopy stuff, some slightly more technical stuff, some hill climbs, some stair climbs, some whiskey, and as a result of that combination probably some puking. Not to get all Phil Conners on you, but the weather looks to be perfect – 50 degrees and light rain.

What to expect: An hour and a half to two hours of urban ‘cross riding. This isn’t an alleycat, so you don’t need a bag.

Details: The race begins and ends at Schooner Exact brewing. Meet at noon on Saturday, March 17th. Yes, I know that this is St. Patricks Day; come party with the professionals during the day before you go drinking with the amateurs that night. The race will start around 1. If you’re late you can always try to catch up.

As with all of the Frost Club series, the race is only $5 and all proceeds benefit The Leukemia Lymphoma Society. We’ve got t-shirts as well, and we’d love it if you bought one. They still look like this:

We’ve got a few prizes from Chrome and Knog and the Softest Kitten (whatever that means) will win these sweet brakes.

To Sum up:

Saturday March, 17th

Schooner Exact Brewing @ Noon

Urban ‘cross race

$5

Just come to our fucking race already. You’ll have fun.